Search For the Perfect Ranch Dressing

I have a very immature palate, this I know is true. When Brian wants taste explosions in his mouth, he has to cook. And nine times out of ten, I'm not gonna finish the meal and end up the night with a block of cheese and some crackers. When I cook, Brian has to find new ways to say, "It's sustenance, at least." I like my food plain and dry, plain and simple. My burgers without vegetables or dressings, my spaghetti just meat and sauce, my eggs without yolks, unless scrambled. I could live off of bread and butter my entire life, as well as plain ol' meat and potatoes.

When I finally discovered the wonder of Ranch dressing, I patted myself on the back and proceeded to guzzle it down by the gallons. But I've discovered that I don't like the store-bought bottled Ranch. It's too thick and creamy. I like the plain, thinned-down, milky version better. The ones you find accompanying potato skins and cheese fries in the bars. Or the one that Wing Stop puts in your bag with those glorious, glorious lemon pepper chicken wings.

I've searched high and low for the recipe for thinned-down Ranch dressing, even going so far as to look for the Wing Stop recipe. I've found countless others on the same journey as I, searching to rid themselves of that gross, thick, creamy Ranch in the store. I've found the same recipe over and over again. Buy the Hidden Valley ranch packet, add a cup of milk, and a cup of mayo. I've tried it twice, and both times it's come out exactly like the bottle in the store. What's a girl with absolutely no desire or interest for the finer things in life to do? Can somebody please help?