God You Reign

(I tried to embed the actual video in the post, but I don't know how to do it when it's a YouTube or other website video. So the link to the YouTube video is hyperlinked into the title and last words of this post.)



On Wednesay, June 17, I was heading out of the house to go pick up Brian from work. His truck broke down, and we haven't been in a position to fix it, so we're down to one vehicle. I had been talking to my mom on the phone for quite a while when I realized it was time to leave to pick up Brian. The Austin traffic dictates that I leave about 40 minutes before he clocks out. I walked out to my truck and turned it on, and I kind of half-noticed that the radio didn't come on at all. As I was still on the phone with my mom, I didn't want to mess with it, and I didn't want to take time away from my travel time trying to figure it out, so I just let it go. I had also turned on the air conditioner, and that failed to come on, too, so that's when I really took notice. I went through a very quick mental crisis on what to do, but there was really nothing I could do. I had to pick up Brian, and though it was incredibly hot (I think it reached 100 degrees that day and no telling what the humidity level was), we were just going to have to suffer through the 40-minute long trip with no air conditioning. You might be thinking boohoo, ooohh, you don't have air conditioning, right, and a well-deserved thought it is. But just hear me out. I didn't mind too much, but I felt bad for Brian because he was wearing jeans to work. Anyway, I went all the way down I-35 with my window half-rolled down because I was still talking to my mom and didn't want to have too much wind blowing in her ear. Sweat was pouring down my face, my clothes were soaked, and the traffic was almost immediate as soon as I got on the highway. I inched my way forward, squeezed behind semi-trucks and other vehicles emitting their hot fumes all over me, and I just hoped that my truck wasn't going to break down on top of everything. I kept watching the gauges to make sure I wasn't going to overheat or anything. I finally made it to Brian's work, and I parked in my usual spot. I'd figured out that maybe the wires behind the dash were touching or crossing or something, and that's why both the radio and the air conditioner weren't even coming on, because the truck was running fine with no hint of trouble on the gauges. I popped my steering wheel up so I could scoot over to the middle of the seat to pull out the dash, hoping maybe I could jolt the wires back into working.

Nothing.

I stayed in the middle of the seat, and I just prayed. I thought of Job, on whom Satan rained down horrors and torments, and how he cried out to the Lord, never blaming Him or questioning, simply believing and praying. And though we're not near to experiencing Job's troubles, or even your own troubles, I did (selfishly) think of what Brian and I have been going through these past few months, how stressed and anxious he has been getting as the days go by, how hard it is on him to not find a "real" job and be able to take care of everything we have building up against us, how this one more thing that needs financial attention would add to his burden. I thought of how sad I've been, how scared of the city and this new life I am. I thought of my loved ones who are going through much worse than we are, and I prayed. I told God, "I know You're not sending us these obstacles, so I only ask that You be with us. Please, God, just be with us." I opened my eyes, popped the steering wheel back down into position, whispered one final plea for God to be with us, and the radio came on! I had it set on K-LOVE, and when it came back on, Lincoln Brewster's "God You Reign" was playing. I tried the air conditioner, and it came on, too.

I know my troubles don't compare to most of what you're going through, but I wanted to tell this story to share what God's presence in my life means. I'm not one for praying for money or cars or objects, and most of the time I feel selfish praying for myself (and selfishness is the one thing I've really been trying to work on). When I pray, I try not to think of everything I lack, and I try to pray for others (mostly for Kaleb and Belle Belle and Will and Mase and Buddy and my family and the homeless people here and everyone else who needs God even more than I do). But I believe God listens, even when it's something as trivial as having a nice, cool vehicle waiting for your stressed-out husband, even when you don't want to express it but feel it heavy in your heart, even when you feel you should just be grateful to be alive with a family who loves you and a house to go home to, because He has something to teach us. I believe God listens, and He answers, even when it's something simple. I believe it's those simple answers that no one really pays attention to, those tiny little reminders, those gentle nudges blown through your hair, that nice cold air on a hot day that God uses to remind you that He's always there, watching and loving and looking over you. I believe that every time I break down in tears for how homesick I am, for how much I miss Kaleb and Belle and my family, that as soon as I just say "God" I feel better, and I don't have to finish out my plea because He already knows. I believe He has a plan for Brian and for me, and that one day He'll send us the answer He wants us to have. I believe God heard my heart, and He answered me, that He hears my heart and answers me. I believe God reigns.